PEACE offer not accepted?

The saga of my life moves on. The lessons continue. Am I keeping up? Good question. I haven't watched sitcoms much but from what little bit I have seen I have observed that several 'subplots' usually develop at any given time. That is much more true with my 'real life' at present. I hope to share some positive developing 'subplots' which are really exciting - perhaps I can in the next blog - but I am also dealing with, what appears at present to be, my offers of 'peace' being rejected.

I hope I'm wrong in my assumptions but at the same time I am sensing the need for me to face 'head on' this possibility - an offer from me to be at peace with someone 'rejected' .

In my old 'lie based' (peace at all cost) way of thinking, that possibility was something I tried to avoid 'at all costs'. I no longer believe that lie I therefore I don't intend to act or think that way anymore. So, in a sense, this is 'new' territory for me.

If you have read previous blogs you have a little idea of some relational issues that have recently been taking place. During the past few days one more intense issue involved attempting to help a brother of a lady who lives here on the farm. He has 'different' ways of looking at life (and his way of responding to life can change with every 'breath' he takes, or so it seems) but occasionally he has come close enough to me that I have felt affected strongly by his (changing) choices.

So, how have I been involved? We got a phone call that he had run out of gas. After getting him gas and lodging for the night, the next day he (and his parents) again called for help. The car he had been driving had been reported as 'stolen' and so was confiscated by the police which meant he no longer had it to use, but when I went looking to pick him up I couldn't find him. One reason was I didn't know the area. Another reason was he kept 'moving'. After several more attempts, a friend of ours was able to locate the brother's whereabouts, and pick him up. The car had been released from the police so our kind friend drove him back 'home'.

From my perspective I thought I was trying to help him. He, on the other hand, seemed to respond as though I was 'out to get him' in a negative way. So, how was I to respond? (I suppose an offer to 'help' and an offer of 'peace' may not always be exactly the same, but perhaps the lessons I'm learning can apply to both.) Should I have even responded at all? If so, need it be an 'outward' response? or an 'inward' decision? or both? or neither?

Now, add to the above that the sister's husband seems rather 'anti' about 'brother'. Actually I have also percieved 'peace offer rejection' from husband for some time (not only because I attempted to help 'brother' but for other reasons expressed by him as well).

As I mentioned before, understanding the 'law of contracts' has helped me in situations like this. If a person 'rejects' an offer, it is simply that. I don't have to 'fall apart', or 'get angry' of whatever. It was the other person's choice to 'not' accept peace from me. It is also the other person's responsibility, not mine (although I may hurt from their lack of peace).

In this context my mind went to a Bible illustration. Abraham had moved to Canaan from his home country near present day Iran/Araq vicinity. His brother had died earlier so Abraham had invited his nephew, Lot, to come with him. As time went on both Lot and Abraham had become very 'rich' in the wealth of that day - flocks and herds - so much so that it was difficult to find pasture for everyone close to 'camp' and as a result the herdsmen began to quarrel. Abraham could have settled the issue quite easily, for he was the 'elder' and in a family form of government his word was law. I suppose he could have legislated 'boundaries', rules and regulations. Instead he told Lot, who was an 'adult' by this time, "Let's not have strife between us. The best way to solve this is to separate. If you chose left, I'll go right. If you go right, I'll go left." True peace was important to Abraham.

As I pondered that story while looking back on not only the last few days but weeks and months as well, I see the Lord working on the same premise. The 'husband' has been not only unhappy about help for his wife's brother, he has seemed to be unhappy about lots of other things as well. When I participated in what I considered getting a 'sheep' out of the ditch on a 'Sabbath', that was to him the 'last straw'. He made up his mind that he could no longer live so close to such sinners. After actively pursuing an escape route (this is not a prison, however) for some months, they believe they have found one and even today are on their way to what they believe is 'freedom'.

Abraham could not endure the 'strife' and even went so far as to give Lot the first choice of where Lot would live. I didn't have that much latitude. But to be honest, I thank the Lord that they are moving.

We still like them as friends. And I personally hope this new experience will be good for them. Up until now they have had the burden of being dependent on others for 'housing'. Of course, that also gives them someone to blame if something does not meet their expectations, especially in relation to where they live. Now they plan to have their 'own home'. They will now have their 'say' about how much it will cost to 'fix' when their place is not to their liking. They will be able 'control' how much utilities will be. And as such, they are looking forward to 'peace' (on their terms). I wish they will find it

Coming back to my main topic here, 'peace not accepted', how am I to respond? When I read about Abraham this morning I somehow sensed a sigh of relief from Abraham when the strife ceased. Dare I feel that way, at least for a moment? Actually, I think I will save that one for when the piles of boxes and furniture are also gone from the front room.

I just got a call from my good friend who drove 'brother' home. They had a very good trip and it sounds like they also had some interesting discussions along the way to fill the hours. (breathing a sigh of relief). (I wish 'brother' could get someone on a regular basis with whom he could communicate on that level.) I will go meet my friend at 1:30 p.m this afternoon at a train station.

As I finished writing the above, I paused to consider that at least in these 2 instances what seemed so intense, and perhaps even momentarily stress producing, may in reality be setting things up for better and real 'peace', not just 'truce'. Might it be that some types of 'rejection' are actually a way of 'bringing' real peace. Can two walk together except they be agreed? No. So, even though a separation may seem painful at the moment, might God's will be done to 'give me peace'? Yes!

May the God of peace sanctify you wholly (make you complete, mature).

Bringer of peace