Peace through Communication

A lot has been happening lately. It seems I have been living in two worlds. In one arena I have been seeing the 'tearing down' effects of 'non-communication' and in the other area I have been experiencing possibilities when communications become 'united' or at least 'open'.

I have been 'hired' by a lady to help her with a variety of 'jobs'. It started out as cleaning her house and running errands for her as needed. As time has progressed we have come to be friends as well as me 'working' for her. In her 'life' is another person who had expressed an earnest and persistant desire to treat this lady as 'mother'. The lady I work for had slowly come to agree to that arrangement and eventually had even agreed to come and live on the same property as the one wanting to treat her as 'mother'. Then, last summer the 'daughter' seemed to suddenly 'turn away', even to the point of 'suing' the lady I work for. The situation has gotten rather 'nasty' (in my words). I don't know all the details but I can assure you the current situation is not tending toward 'peace'.

I have been listening to some excellent presentations on communications. And since most of us are more involved in 'wrong' ways of communicating than correct methods, a few incorrect ways have been presented - as contrast - to help quit communicating using 'wrong ways'.

One area I have really become aware of in my experience is that there are at least two levels of communication. There is a surface, or topical, level of communication. Then there is a relational level in communication.

This morning my husband said he had been 'coughing' more lately. (topical) I made a suggestion of a dietary change that I thought might be of help (topical). In my perception his answer to my suggestion changed the discussion from strictly 'topical' to 'relational'. I commented that I perceived the 'change' in direction, but he immediately 'denied' it. In trying to clarify what I thought I 'saw', it seemed that all we did was get into an argument. I am still pondering over what was said and how to 'properly' respond in the future.

In the meantime (and as far as I know my hubby and I are not at odds at this moment but we didn't particularly agree on definitions of words used) I am becoming much more aware how important for 'peace' communication is.

Communication involves interaction between minds. Without proper communications there can be neither PEACE nor JOY between two or more minds. Without appropriate JOY and PEACE, however, (even according to modern science), a mind will not develop a capacity to cope with stress, with life.

Going back to the situation with my lady friend, I have observed that a lack of one on one proper communication has created a 'hell' on earth. And when 'lawyers' get involved it can sometimes help, but it can also reduce possibilities of 'real' communications (just word games to see who can 'win' in a 'legal' arena, not true heart, relationship, 'talk').

I have no desire of going a legal route in my experience. But I can see, though, the need to have my eyes open to perceive what others are saying on a relational level as well as what they are attempting to say concerning a topic of the moment.

Another point that I have been observing is that until the other person accepts the fact that there are at least 'two levels' of communication, most of my observations will most likely have to remain in my own mind. If I 'say' them, that seems to bring out the 'defenses' and 'preparations for active warfare'.

There is a time for war as well as a time for peace. I no longer believe 'peace at all costs', but I would still really like to learn better ways of communications so that when I do meet those who are open to receiving God's peace through me into their hearts and lives, I can 'share it'.

Bringer of Peace